05/30/2026
🚨TALES FROM THE LOT: THE JEDI, THE BEER & THE BUFFET🚨
Over the last few weekends, we’ve learned two things:
1. We love you people.
2. We absolutely cannot leave you unattended.
Let’s start with the beer bandits.
A few kids thought they had the perfect plan. Hide a six-pack by a tree and come back for it later.
Unfortunately, Tyson found it first.
Now most people would’ve just taken the beer.
Not Tyson.
Tyson waited.
Like a Kansas game warden watching a deer feeder.
Sure enough, the kid came back.
Tyson took off running.
The kid took off running.
The beer “CON-FI-SCAT-ED ” IYKYK
Final score:
Kid: 0 beers.
Tyson: 6 beers.
Speaking of things that got left behind…
A lightsaber was recovered in the lot.
Somewhere out there is a Jedi who is about to get absolutely wrecked by the Dark Side because he can’t keep track of his equipment.
May the Force be with him.
Because his lightsaber won’t be.
Then we discovered what appeared to be possibly, maybe, not sure, a broken balloon.
Next to it?
A bottle cap.
Now we’re not investigators.
We don’t know if the bottle was involved.
We don’t know if somebody needed a little extra liquid confidence.
We don’t know exactly what happened.
But if a little Carl or Brenda shows up in about nine months, we’ve got a working theory.
Not Brian though.
That would just be cruel.
Now let’s discuss the buffet.
Folks…
We have seen snacks.
We have seen a full dinner.
A crockpot
What we just witnessed was a full-blown buffet.
Blanket over the trunk.
Containers everywhere.
Side dishes.
Desserts.
Enough food to survive a Kansas winter.
At one point we thought Golden Corral had opened a second location.
If you missed the spread, you missed the spread.
And finally…
To the person who stuffed the men’s urinal completely full of toilet paper:
Why? It was
Not clogged.
Not overflowing.
Stuffed.
Like you were trying to hide evidence?
We have questions.
But mostly why.
Anyways, if you missed the buffet this weekend, don’t worry.
We’re thinking all-you-can-eat crab legs next weekend.
Bring your own butter?
What could possibly go wrong?
