When hinges creak in doorless chambers, and strange and frightening sounds echo through the hall; whenever candlelights flicker where the air is deathly still . . . that is the time when ghosts are present, practicing their terror with ghoulish delight! Welcome, foolish mortals, to the Haunted Mansion. Hm, hm, hm, hm, hm. Kindly step all the way in, please, and make room for everyone -- there's no
turning back now! Our tour begins here in this gallery, where you see paintings of some of our guests as they appeared in their corruptible, mortal state. Your cadaverous pallor betrays an aura of foreboding, almost as though you sense a disquieting metamorphosis. Is this haunted room actually stretching, or is it your imagination? And consider this dismaying observation: This chamber has no windows and no doors. Hm, hm, hm, hm. Which offers you this chilling challenge -- to find a way out! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! Of course, there's always my way. Oh, I didn't mean to frighten you prematurely . . .Hm, hm, hm, hm, the real chills come later. Now, as they say, look alive, and we'll continue our little tour. And let's all stay together, please. There are several prominent ghosts who have retired here from creepy old crypts all over the world. Actually, we have 999 happy haunts here, but there's room for a thousand -- any volunteers? Ha ha ha ha ha! If you insist on lagging behind, you may not need to volunteer! And now, a carriage approaches to take you into the boundless realm of the supernatural. Take your . . . loved ones by the hand please, and kindly watch your step. Oh yes, and no flash pictures -- please! We spirits are frightfully sensitive to bright lights . . . Do not pull down on the safety bar please, I will lower it for you. And heed this warning: The spirits will materialize only if you remain quietly seated at all times. We find it delightfully unlivable here in this ghostly retreat. Every room has wall to wall creeps, and hot and cold running chills. Shhhhhhh . . . listen . . . All our ghosts have been dying to meet you . . . This one can hardly contain himself, hm hm hm hm. Unfortunately, they all seem to have trouble getting through. Perhaps Madame Leota can establish contact . . . She has a remarkable head for materializing the disembodied. Serpents and spiders, tail of a rat . . . Call in the spirits, wherever they're at! Rap on a table, it's time to respond . . . Send us a message from somewhere beyond! Goblins and ghoulies from last Halloween, awaken the spirits with your tambourine! Creepies and crawlies, toads in a pond . . . Let there be music from regions beyond! Wizards and witches, wherever you dwell . . . give us a hint by ringing a bell! The happy haunts have received your sympathetic vibrations, and are beginning to materialize . . . They're assembling for a swinging wake, and they'll be expecting me . . . I'll see you all a little later . . . When the crypt doors creak and the tomb stones quake,
spooks come out for a swingin' wake. Happy haunts materialize, and begin to vocalize,
Grim grinning ghosts come out to socialize . . . Now don't close your eyes and try to hide,
for a silly spook will sit by your side. Shrouded in a daft disguise, they pretend to terrorize. Grim grinning ghosts come out to socialize . . . As the moon climbs high over dead oak tree,
spooks alight for a midnight spree. Creepy creeps with eerie eyes,
start to shriek and harmonize. When you hear the knell of a requiem bell,
