I'd pray to Mark every night before I go to bed, thanking for the life I've been given. "Oh hi, Mark", I would say, "How's your sex life?". Rian Johnson hears me and tells me that my obsession is unporgivable. I knew he was just jealous for my devotion of Mark. He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep. I'm crying now and my face hurts. I lay in bed and it's really cold. A warmth is moving towards m
e. I feel something touch me. It's Mark Hamill. He whispers in my ear "The force is strong in my family." He grabs me with his powerful mechanical hand, and puts me on my hands and knees. I spread my porg-cheeks for Mark. He penetrates my porg-hole. It hurts so much, but I do it for Mark. I can feel my porg-hole tearing as my eyes start to water. I yell "YOU ARE TEARING ME APART!" I push against his force. I want to please Mark. He roars a mighty "no", as he reaches an earth-shattering porg-gasm. Rian walks in. Mark looks him straight in the eye, and says, "I seem to have porgotten my line". Mark leaves through my window. Mark is love. Mark is life.
