Woman Dreaming of 12 Steps to Loving the Self

08/04/2024

A very moving and beautifully honest story. I think everyone will find some of their own story in this book. I needed tissues. I highly recommend this. It is available for download as a document for only $3.99 with $1 going to research to find a cure for the debilitating disease of lymphoedema. Link to download in comments below.

03/02/2024

Today's Morning Reflection 🙏♥️.....

My ordinary life is a priceless gift. I have become rich in acceptance of what is and how it shows up. Even in the barren times where nothing much is happening and old patterns, places and people are seemingly falling away. To sit quietly in the pause between is a gift; an opportunity to go within and connect deeply to listening to my own heart. Like growing a baby inside, it can't be rushed. When I wait in loving and peaceful acceptance for the new to be born, then I allow that to be a magical thing, the waiting. Slowing 🐌 right down has allowed me to see the magic in the moment. Hearing and seeing a singing bird. Looking in a pram and seeing the innocence of a baby 👶. Sharing a hug 🫂 with a 'stranger'. These are what make for a life worth living 💖, for each precious moment is filled from a heart centred space. I am then ready to die whenever it comes because I am living in the deep appreciation of each moment and there is wonder everywhere. There is no more striving for an end goal. The goal has become to fully appreciate the journey and let go of the destination. It's not in the length of life, its in the living and fully embracing the ordinary however it arrives. I frequently forget this but more and more I see 👀 the priceless gift 🎁 in every ordinary moment. This is what it is to live a full life. May I remember today to enjoy the ordinary, for in forgetting, I miss the divine magic gift of life. ♥️
~Eileen Dielesen 4.2.2024

04/03/2023

Bring the secrets that disturb you from the past to the Light and watch the Miracle that arrives to give you your wings to FREEDOM. We are held back by our own secrets and the toxic shame eats away our self-esteem. Like a dark curtain drawn against the Light, our secrets keep up from enjoying the freedom that comes with letting them go. These are not just words that I write...this is my very own experience. I was as sick as all the secrets I kept! I wish I could share with you the JOY of being free of them. Find someone you can trust and share your secrets, you will find that sharing your story will be a gift to others.
~Eileen Dielesen

02/03/2022

I HAD A BIG AHHH HAAAA MOMENT this morning when I saw this sign in the photo below on my dining room table.

I LOVE YOU ..... and I HATE YOU .... can only ever be thoughts I have used to attack or accept myself with. They always start in the mind. I am ONE in Spirit with everyone, therefore there can only be ONE I am attacking or loving. That is my only choice. Will I LOVE or will I HATE myself? In my depth I have committed to awaken to LOVE for it is what I am in Truth. The HATE is my conditioned mind, all the beliefs, thoughts, opinions, judgements, comparisons and ideas that I have taken on and formed a separate 'I'dentity from. Being ONE then means I am always either loving or hating my ONESelf! I project out into the world onto others or things my very own conditioned self, either the Love or the Hate. I can no longer do this without being aware! Eek, I take 100% responsibility for what is going on in my mind. This is my most important 'work' to do in this life. To watch my mind and stop believing and judging the thoughts/judgements/opinions/ideas/comparisons/beliefs etc and to see that they are NOT who I am, nor are they who anybody else is. They are simply thoughts. I AM LOVE and SO ARE YOU and that is all I want to identify with and see. How that is extended is entirely unique for each of us. In each moment you will know how LOVE wants to be extended or received. You do not have to DO anything, just BE present to what arises moment to moment. What my conditioned planning mind thought should happen today may well not be what will arise and want to happen NOW in this moment. May today you BE LOVE and SEE LOVE.
~Eileen Dielesen

09/01/2022

HEAL YOUR OWN HEART by joining in the innocent passion and joy of children. Yesterday I felt tired and so decided to have a nap. As I lay down, the memory of my encounter the previous evening with a 6 year old child came to mind. I had gone to the beautiful foreshore of my city to view the Christmas Lights trail and I came to a huge deer light display and there before me was this excited 6 year old girl whose eyes were full of light and joy. My heart lit up and it joined with her in that place of innocence and joy. She excitedly told me that she could read the words on the sign below the deer and asked me if I wanted to hear her read them. Yesssss of course was my response and I become fully present to her as she articulated the complex words on the sign with perfect clarity. Wow I exclaimed you are so clever. She excitedly told me how she was only 6 years of age and she could read books that were deemed suitable for 12 year olds. I asked her if she loved reading and she literally was bubbling and shining with the passion of her love for reading as she responded with a bright yes! She continued chatting for several minutes telling me so enthusiastically about her passion for reading. I asked her if she liked writing and did she write stories. Yes she exclaimed and told me more about that. I said to her you will probably be a writer.

Going back to my nap yesterday. When this memory and the JOY that I felt in this encounter came to my mind I began sobbing. They were tears of Amazing Grace. That encounter was out of the ordinary. All judgement was suspended in that encounter. There was just this joining with the JOY that emanated from the little girl's innocent Heart. I was fully present to her and my own inner innocence and JOY. I am sobbing as I write this. Tears that spring from my Heart when it is touched deeply with the presence of LOVE and really has no words. Healing tears. That little girl...well she is me. The little girl who has grown into being a writer. I am crying because somehow I have believed that the way I write isn't enough. That my passion wasn't enough. I am crying because I have deemed my passion to look like something else. It should have looked like I could have created a whole income producing occupation from it. I have judged myself as not somehow being enough. Not good enough. My presence, my being is ENOUGH EXACTLY AS IT IS. The way I write is more than enough. My way of interacting with children is more than enough. My passion is CHILDREN and they are my pure gift. My passion is WRITING when I feel inspired to and not for any other reason except for the JOY of it. To follow my passion is to heal myself and that heals everyone. There is no separation or mistake in life. I am exactly on the track that I am meant to be on and so is everyone else. I cannot see the bigger picture of why things happen the way they do, but one thing I do know is that judgment is the barrier that holds the veil of divine love and joy in front of my mind and heart. I met that little 6 year old girl with a heart of pure presence, acceptance, non-judgement and the JOY that arose in my Heart was THE HEALING THAT HEALS THE WHOLE WORLD. I take you all with me. Have a blessed day and live your passion...the thing that LIGHTS your Heart that makes you want to innocently share it with others like that 6 year old girl. My greatest teachers have always been small children. Listen to the children, really listen and open your Heart to them.
~Eileen Dielesen

Photo copyright shared with generous permission of Chloe Mather. Thank you Alice for inspiring my passion and joy. 💖

19/11/2021

PEACE..... IT IS CONTAGIOUS!
What a profound gift! Peace is letting go of thoughts that are judgmental. Yes, let them go. They stop the LOVE that heals the whole world. This is the prayer that will heal the whole world. Let the thoughts arise....but don't let them have rent free space in your mind! Watch them as they try to hook your attention. Over and over they come back. This is the misery making of judgmental thoughts. Be VIGILANT against these thoughts if you want PEACE OF MIND. No one can help you with this task. You are the master of your own mind. All these thoughts are conditioned ideas, beliefs, judgments, opinions etc that have been accumulated from life and all the people who interacted and cared for you as a child and through your adult life. You do not have to believe them any more, nor give them free rent in your mind. Be very kind and patient with yourself because judging yourself for the annoying return of these thoughts only keeps you trapped in the thought that these thoughts are annoying and you are failing to stop them! Give yourself a hug for SEEING them for this is awakening...this is the healing way HOME to your PEACE of MIND.
~Eileen Dielesen 💖

11/11/2021

When I want PEACE more than anything else....then and only then, will I be truly FREE. I must want freedom MORE THAN material/earthly goods, jobs/career, money, relationships and all things attached to a sense of little 'I'. Real freedom means I let go of my ego attachment and become ONE with God/Love/Higher Self...that is where the real treasure lies. What more would you want than complete peace of mind. Let the things of this world that you seek, be a backdrop for watching your mind and letting go each time you notice an attachment. May peace be your only goal today and always.
~Eileen Dielesen

05/07/2021

Several years ago I posted every day for 100 days what made me happy in that day. This is one of those posts: "I was so happy today and was singing a beautiful song on my way to the cinema and I just kept on quietly singing it in the rest rooms! As I came out to wash my hands a woman said to me: "You have a really beautiful voice, it sounded so lovely". That made me so very happy! She turned to leave and I called her back and said I would sing the song to her. I really LOVE to sing from my Heart...it is a different place to sing from and so I sang to her: "Anyone can light a candle, but not the way that you do......." She was really touched and thanked me profusely. For my whole life people have made fun of my singing, but I have always loved singing and the more I sing, the better it gets. Now I don't care if anyone likes my voice or not, or even if it doesn't sound that good, because LOVE comes from my Heart when I sing and that is beautiful ain't it!"
~Eileen Dielesen 💖.

19/05/2021

UNTIL YOU HAVE REACHED THE DEPTHS OF SUFFERING YOURSELF, your Heart cannot fully embrace compassion and deep empathy. I am thoroughly sick of people who think you can control what’s happening in the world including your own body! I believe that the body is in the mind and it experiences whatever life gives it and it is not always beautiful. I know I have suffered with a very serious infection of the lining of the brain and spinal cord. I used to be one of those believers - it's caused by the mind and can be healed. What I believe is that the mind can heal and that healing is profoundly beautiful. What happens after that I also have no control over. It might get better and it might not. I believe that what happened to my body has helped me to see things from my mind perspective in a much more compassionate, kind, caring and empathetic stance towards myself and others. I do believe that the little 'I' has no control over the body that is appearing in the dreaming mind. NO CONTROL! Control is the most insane illusion. I am still observing it all and from my own experience I can say that body suffering sucks sucks sucks. I have been totally and utterly moved in my Heart by the generosity of people who love and care for me. I was never good at receiving. My illness has opened my Heart to a lived experience that giving and receiving are the same. I was out of balance. I know many are the same. Perhaps the greater ‘I’ is trying to reach us all through means that get our attention. Maybe I became ill to help others open their hearts and become generous, compassionate, kind, empathetic and giving. Maybe, maybe, maybe???? Really that is a story too. That story feels kind and caring to my suffering body. What I have learned is - I DON'T KNOW WHAT ANYTHING IS FOR. It is what it is and I do my best to embrace each moment with my philosophy – BE LOVE and SEE LOVE. Amen 🙏
~Eileen Dielesen 💖

21/04/2021

BULLSH*T TO BUTTERFLIES will make you think. About your own death and enduring the death of those you love greatly. Shane’s story is a good reminder to cherish every moment we have in this world—and those whom we love in it. Through all the turmoil this man endured in his life, he kept going until he simply couldn’t go anymore. What those who loved him realized is that he was always teaching. Always learning. Always curious. Always grateful. When forced to face his own mortality, none of that changed. This is the very real story of a very ordinary man. He could just as well be you or I. This is a book for people who want to understand the plight of cancer, the challenges of facing death, and how to comfort the dying. You will take away much more than the story of this man. You will glean information on how to have a good death for yourself or for someone you love.

BULLSH*T TO BUTTERFLIES will make you think. About your own death and enduring the death of those you love greatly. Shane's story is a good reminder to cherish every moment we have in this world—and those whom we love in it.