Wanna know if that guy you woke up with after a mostly black-out night at the New York Deli roofied you, or if you actually chose to sleep with someone who you woke to find keeps a life-sized cutout of David Allen Coe at the foot of the bed? Have you been on a few dates with someone who seemed cool when you messaged back-and-forth on OKCupid or PlentyofFish or whatever, but in person they're shift
y, boring and vague about their lives? Or at least give you a pretty good idea-- using our combined abilities to use Google, ask our extended network of reliable friends-of-friends, or judgments of taste based on their internet profile photos and crappy or non-crappy taste in filmic and sonic entertainment. Our rates are reasonable (ONLY $5.00 AN HOUR*) and if it turns out that we're wrong, we guarantee a whole-hearted apology and maybe even a hug if we were REALLY wrong.
*plus a standard yet variable stipend for travel, food, lodging and good, tasteful pornog... art house cinema
(trust me, it helps with the process. You'd be surprised at what one can discover or realize about the human condition when watching Repulsion for the fifty-third time, but this time in beautifully restored Blu-Ray format.. a steal at $31.96 from Criterion.com, but that's just one example of what we are willing to do for YOU, our faithful, inquisitive potential consumers)
