Damien's' House of Crap Movies and Bar

Damien's' House of Crap Movies and Bar Horror and other movies/entertaiment Full bar! Yup, full bar.

A place for movies. Mostly horror and mostly crappy! But I love horror movies...even the bad ones.

Hahaha, then there is this f**king mess. Guardians is the Russian Avengersbut without anything remotely worth wild. This...
07/29/2018

Hahaha, then there is this f**king mess. Guardians is the Russian Avengersbut without anything remotely worth wild. This is spectacle but for the wrong reasons. Bad acting, for starters, characters that have no charisma or background. Spfx are PS3 good and I've seen better action in YouTube videos. Hey, on the upside, you do get a bear with a gatling gun. God, this was horrible.

These damn$2 bins. Needle is a gory, voodoo flick that goes absolutely no where. Now, out of some of the movie we watch,...
07/29/2018

These damn$2 bins. Needle is a gory, voodoo flick that goes absolutely no where. Now, out of some of the movie we watch, this has some inventive and body kills, but damn it, that's all it has. No other redeeming qualities. Just dumb.

The Devil's Tomb is a $2 bin goodie that should have stayed, in the bin. It's not good. At all. It has some gory moments...
07/29/2018

The Devil's Tomb is a $2 bin goodie that should have stayed, in the bin. It's not good. At all. It has some gory moments, but it's just a lazy flick. I think you can catch this one online and if you have some time that you don't want back, then watch it.

Pacific Rim: Uprising is a direct sequel to the original and yet, it feels like a dumb down version, of the original. It...
07/21/2018

Pacific Rim: Uprising is a direct sequel to the original and yet, it feels like a dumb down version, of the original. It's not a bad flick, it's full of cool action and spfx is good, but there is something missing. I just can't put my finger on it. If you liked the first, then this isn't a total waste.

The Gunman is an older movie and has some real flaws, but the action sequences make up for it. Penn does a good job (and...
07/21/2018

The Gunman is an older movie and has some real flaws, but the action sequences make up for it. Penn does a good job (and is in sick f**king shape for his age) and the movie is pretty formula, enough to keep it moving. It's a Netflix kinda flick.

Wow, I knew this was going to be silly, but jesus. Hahahaha The Hurricane Heist is a big old hunk of cheese that is so b...
07/21/2018

Wow, I knew this was going to be silly, but jesus. Hahahaha The Hurricane Heist is a big old hunk of cheese that is so bad it is fun. This movie knows not to play itself seriously and that is part of its dumb charm. This is a scyfy Saturday morning movie, at best, but it is brain dead fun.

Jens pic: Full disclosure, I like the older Tomb Raider flicks. This new one is fun, video game silliness. The new Croft...
07/14/2018

Jens pic: Full disclosure, I like the older Tomb Raider flicks. This new one is fun, video game silliness. The new Croft is believable and she has some cool stunts. All in all if you like the reboot video games, you will like this movie.

Transfiguration is a nice take on the vampire genre and it is f**king boring. I liked what they were trying to do, with ...
07/14/2018

Transfiguration is a nice take on the vampire genre and it is f**king boring. I liked what they were trying to do, with the story, but it is too slow. This one is on Netflix and that's the best way to see this one.

Winchester is better than I expected it to be. Now, that is to say I went in with very low expectations and was quite su...
06/19/2018

Winchester is better than I expected it to be. Now, that is to say I went in with very low expectations and was quite surprised to have an enjoyable ghost tale. Worth a rental

Jens pic: Speaking of remakes, Death Wish is already fun. I mean, there is nothing new, revolutionary or even added, but...
06/10/2018

Jens pic: Speaking of remakes, Death Wish is already fun. I mean, there is nothing new, revolutionary or even added, but it's a fun watch. The violence is nice and "in your face".... it's a Death Wish remake, so you get what you pay for. Unfortunately, the biggest problem is Willis. He has no charisma and is no Bronson. But, this is worth a rental.

Flatlunes (2018) it's another unnecessary remake. It's a good looking movie, but the characters are not very bright and ...
06/10/2018

Flatlunes (2018) it's another unnecessary remake. It's a good looking movie, but the characters are not very bright and the motives are just stupid. Just watch the original

Jens pic: Everyone knows I'm not a comedy fan. I prefer the old school ones to anything today. But, Game Night is really...
06/10/2018

Jens pic: Everyone knows I'm not a comedy fan. I prefer the old school ones to anything today. But, Game Night is really good. Funny, well paced and at times violent, this is a fun watch. Recommended

The Houses That October Built 2 it's a good entry in the series. But, as with all sequels, it is not as good as the firs...
06/10/2018

The Houses That October Built 2 it's a good entry in the series. But, as with all sequels, it is not as good as the first. Although, this one adds some really cool ideas and goes in a direction that makes me excited to see the next, it kind of throws away the main story, of the original. All in all, still a good entry.

Vanpyers 2015 remake is competent but unnecessary. They capture the spirit and they have some nice updated kill sequence...
06/01/2018

Vanpyers 2015 remake is competent but unnecessary. They capture the spirit and they have some nice updated kill sequences but all in all, it lacking something that the original has. The original has this sort of grittiness and dirty quality. This new one is very polished. It's not bad, but I still prefer the 1974 version.

The Borrower is really f**king weird. I mean, this one is a doozie. An alien that can only survive by switching out its ...
06/01/2018

The Borrower is really f**king weird. I mean, this one is a doozie. An alien that can only survive by switching out its head after it explodes..... a cop tale of a rapist.... oh and Rae Dawn-Chong. Strange follow up to Henry: Potrait of a Serial Killer. Can you tell, I love it!!!! Hahahaha

Hahaha, then there is Brain Damage. This 80's flick is nothing more than a gigantic acid trip. Hahaha I mean, this movie...
06/01/2018

Hahaha, then there is Brain Damage. This 80's flick is nothing more than a gigantic acid trip. Hahaha I mean, this movie is incredibly strange. But, if you love over the top, gory horror flicks, then you can't skip this one.

The Shape Of Water is a film lovers dream. I already posted a review, so all I can say is, I love it. It is not as good ...
06/01/2018

The Shape Of Water is a film lovers dream. I already posted a review, so all I can say is, I love it. It is not as good as Pan's Labyrinth, but a great companion piece. Highly recommended

Jens pic: Molly's Game is freaking awesome! Its Poolhall Jinkies but for poker. I've always been a fan of Sorkin, since ...
05/24/2018

Jens pic: Molly's Game is freaking awesome! Its Poolhall Jinkies but for poker. I've always been a fan of Sorkin, since West Wing, and he put does himself here. Jessica Chastain is bad ass!! (And hotter than the sun). Highly recommended.

Jens pic: I think only Speilberg could make a movie like The Post be exciting. In anyone else's hands. This would have b...
05/24/2018

Jens pic: I think only Speilberg could make a movie like The Post be exciting. In anyone else's hands. This would have been a boring as film, but Spielberg pulls about all the stops to make this quite fun. The acting..... well just look at the cover. Enough said. Recommended

Now we are talking some solid flicks here. Double billed Fade To Black and Hell Night are solid early 80's fare. Fade To...
05/24/2018

Now we are talking some solid flicks here. Double billed Fade To Black and Hell Night are solid early 80's fare. Fade To Black is so good. This movie was a very cool look at one person's unraveling and descent into fictional personas. Think Split, but 35 years earlier. Hell Night is a Linda Blaire starring slasher pic and it was a blast. Better than I was thinking, this is a ton of bloody, silly fun.

Jens pic: Mary And The Witchs Flower is post Ghibli first movie and it's pretty cool. I love most of the Ghibli flicks a...
05/24/2018

Jens pic: Mary And The Witchs Flower is post Ghibli first movie and it's pretty cool. I love most of the Ghibli flicks and this one lends a lot to Harry Potter but with the anime spin. The animation is top notch and the story is good, but, I think I could have been a tad deeper. Recommended

Den Of Thieves is what it is. It's a Heat rip off but more violent and grittier. That's not a bad thing as the movie is ...
05/20/2018

Den Of Thieves is what it is. It's a Heat rip off but more violent and grittier. That's not a bad thing as the movie is enjoyable. The only problem is one sequence, in the film, that really makes Butlers' character really unlikable. If they had cut the scene, then this would have been a better flick. But for what it is. It good.

And here we go. The Commuter sucks. Yes the movie had an ok premise, yes some of the hand to hand fight sequences were w...
05/20/2018

And here we go. The Commuter sucks. Yes the movie had an ok premise, yes some of the hand to hand fight sequences were well done, but damn it, this director just makes low quality flicks. The first two acts are ok. Except for the fact that Neeson looks very CGI in a ton of shots. Then the director dumps a whole bucket of crazy on the third act! I mean the movie shifts gears and turns insane. CGI trains and Neeson flying around, train jumping, getting run over, near decapitation with said train... I mean, insane sh*t. I'd say pass on this one.

Batman Ninja is insane.... but good. For those of you, who are into anime, and understand how they play out, you will lo...
05/16/2018

Batman Ninja is insane.... but good. For those of you, who are into anime, and understand how they play out, you will love this movie. If you don't subscribe to the above, you will absolutely hate this. I like that this is out of left field different but I can see how it will turn off the more casual viewer. The animation is really cool. So, give it a shot and let me know what you think.

Hangman is a Se7en style killer flick but not as good. That's not to say it's a bad movie, it's just kind of a one timer...
05/16/2018

Hangman is a Se7en style killer flick but not as good. That's not to say it's a bad movie, it's just kind of a one timer. And poor Pacino looks like he is sleepwalking through the first two acts. If you want to see an ok killer movie, this should be viewed...... for free.

Wind River is good. I knew nothing about this movie going in and that's the way you should watch this. Not that it's not...
05/14/2018

Wind River is good. I knew nothing about this movie going in and that's the way you should watch this. Not that it's not kinda predictable, but does have some really cool elements. All in all, don't miss this flick.

Holy hell is this movie cool! Blade Of The Immortal is a live action version, of the manga. This is a damn violent blast...
05/14/2018

Holy hell is this movie cool! Blade Of The Immortal is a live action version, of the manga. This is a damn violent blast! If you are a fan of manga or anime, this is a must see.

Hostiles is bad ass! This is a great western (at times brutal) that really hits it's mark. Not a fast paced flick, this ...
05/12/2018

Hostiles is bad ass! This is a great western (at times brutal) that really hits it's mark. Not a fast paced flick, this is one to be watched with patience, in mind. Oh and the performances are top notch. Recommended

Jens pic: Ok, after the last two, we finally have a winner. Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri is fantastic! Grea...
05/12/2018

Jens pic: Ok, after the last two, we finally have a winner. Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri is fantastic! Great story and funny as hell, this is a must see.

Slumber is a pretty bland flick. This is a case where they show you all the good parts, in the 2 minute trailer and the ...
05/12/2018

Slumber is a pretty bland flick. This is a case where they show you all the good parts, in the 2 minute trailer and the other 85 minutes are garbage. This movie lives up to its name and will put you to sleep.

Good God, what the hell happened? Deep Blue Sea 2 lacks anything worth wild that it's predecessor had. This movie is dow...
05/12/2018

Good God, what the hell happened? Deep Blue Sea 2 lacks anything worth wild that it's predecessor had. This movie is down right horrid, yet, it is made so bad that it is funny as hell. Pass on this unless you want a really stupid, visual train wreck to plague your eyes.

Jens pic: Paddington 2 is great! I will admit, I loved the first one, so it was no surprise that I love this one, too. G...
05/04/2018

Jens pic: Paddington 2 is great! I will admit, I loved the first one, so it was no surprise that I love this one, too. Good movie for adults and kids as they don't dumb down the story due to it being a family film. Recommended.

Jens pic: After the last couple of horror flicks, I was actually looking forward to a movie with a story and good acting...
05/04/2018

Jens pic: After the last couple of horror flicks, I was actually looking forward to a movie with a story and good acting. Lady Bird delivers although it is a heavy chick flick, so for me, it's kind of a miss. Even though, everything about it is well done. If you have kids or been to Catholic school, it's probably worth a veiwing.

Like I said, they are getting better. Nails is actually desent. Cool looking monster, impossible as f**k story and dip s...
05/04/2018

Like I said, they are getting better. Nails is actually desent. Cool looking monster, impossible as f**k story and dip sh*t decision making..... wait, did I mention the monster was cool looking??? Hahaha I'd say catch this on Netflix if you've binge watched everything else.

But, the movies are getting better. (Not by much, but I'll take it). Still/Born is pretty dumb but it has a good pace, s...
05/04/2018

But, the movies are getting better. (Not by much, but I'll take it). Still/Born is pretty dumb but it has a good pace, solid ghost and an ok ending. Not the best movie, certainly not the worst. I'll tell you what, if throw out my baby monitors after this one.

Awaken The Shadowman is another "looks better in the trailer" movie. Really nothing can save this train wreck. I did lik...
05/04/2018

Awaken The Shadowman is another "looks better in the trailer" movie. Really nothing can save this train wreck. I did like the practical way they show the Shadowman (for all of 1 minute). Other than that, pass on this snooze fest

Ticks! Is body horror at its best. Silly as a f**king beaver, this one has some skin twitching moments. Also, who could ...
05/04/2018

Ticks! Is body horror at its best. Silly as a f**king beaver, this one has some skin twitching moments. Also, who could pass up Seth Green playing a loner, Ami Dolenz looking hot and Carlton (Fresh Prince) as a f**king gang member! Hahahahahaha

Insidious: The Last Key is another fun entry, in the franchise. This movie concludes the original story line as the next...
04/22/2018

Insidious: The Last Key is another fun entry, in the franchise. This movie concludes the original story line as the next entry is rumored to be going in a new direction. Ugh. But, this one is effective, nice visuals and a cool demon. If you like this series, you won't be disappointed. If you don't, then it's more of the same.

The Midnight Man came to me free from Amazon. (Don't know why? But, hey free movie). Then I watched it and know why they...
04/22/2018

The Midnight Man came to me free from Amazon. (Don't know why? But, hey free movie). Then I watched it and know why they sent it at no charge. It's f**king horrible! First off, this isn't the movie I wanted. I want the 2018 release. Don't know when this was made but I'm assuming betamax was the new technology. This is horrible. An Asylum type rip off of a better movie. Oh but Ken Foree is in it. Plays a gay accountant (hitman). Nope, still sh*t. Pass!

There are remakes that are ok. Not great or above the original material, but ok. There are some that are unnecessary, bu...
04/22/2018

There are remakes that are ok. Not great or above the original material, but ok. There are some that are unnecessary, but are made well. Day Of The Dead: Bloodline is neither. This movie is garbage. Like the makers took a dump, smeared it on celluloid and slapped a $14.99 sticker on it. I can not stress how terrible (not to mention unnecessary) this like of crap is. Pass.

Jens pic: The Greatest Showman is really good! This is going to be my favorite musical since Phantom. If you enjoy music...
04/22/2018

Jens pic: The Greatest Showman is really good! This is going to be my favorite musical since Phantom. If you enjoy musicals, this is a must see.

Jens pic: YES, Attack of the Killer Donuts is a Jens pic and you basically get what you pay for. This one is Killer Toma...
04/16/2018

Jens pic: YES, Attack of the Killer Donuts is a Jens pic and you basically get what you pay for. This one is Killer Tomatoes good. What more can I say? They are killer donuts......

Happy Death Day was a really pleasant surprise. Got this one and had low (limbo low)  expectations, but it is really a f...
04/16/2018

Happy Death Day was a really pleasant surprise. Got this one and had low (limbo low) expectations, but it is really a fun movie. Wish it was more bloody and violent, but I enjoyed what this was.

Justice League is fun. I love this good/bad movie. Although, it doesn't really fit with the other 2 previous entry, it i...
04/16/2018

Justice League is fun. I love this good/bad movie. Although, it doesn't really fit with the other 2 previous entry, it is good. I would still like to see a Zack Snyder cut!!

Jens pic: Again, this is a movie I think maybe should have won best picture. Darkest Hour is phenomenal. Acting and writ...
04/16/2018

Jens pic: Again, this is a movie I think maybe should have won best picture. Darkest Hour is phenomenal. Acting and writting are front and center and flawless. Highly recommended

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